sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
