Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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