my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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