sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How does one acquire holy water?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
