We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
