I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
All the doctor said was why
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
