At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
