No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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