Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
