I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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