I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
