How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
