turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just had sex on a roof
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
