I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
