you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize