whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
