Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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