I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
