god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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