thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i believe in u and ur pee
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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