She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
