About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
