look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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