i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
