No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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