It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Are my feet made of real feet?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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