HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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