If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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