I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
