T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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