i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
