We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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