I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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