I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
