i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
