i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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