you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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