I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
