at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
