I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
