If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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