we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
