So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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