I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
