Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
