So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you made out with another girl for some wings
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
