he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
