he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I cut my penus on the lid.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
