Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Randomize
