i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
