I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
420 ftw
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
